Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize
