dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
