My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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