i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
home. puking in laundry basket.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just crazy horny about you
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize