in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
