I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
The power of my boobs compel you
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
