I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
