so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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