i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
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