i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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