he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
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hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
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It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize