I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Actions speak louder than pants.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
