i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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