i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
