they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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