you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
