Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
