There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
