Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
