the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
