i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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