Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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