the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
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I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
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God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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