Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
