Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Randomize
