Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
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I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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