i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
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