Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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