I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
