New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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