i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
