dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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