why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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