How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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