Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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