Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
