Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
