I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I am spending my child support on dildos
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
