um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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