so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
