just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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