Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
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