Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
