she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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