Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
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I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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