I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
