Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
