So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Randomize