That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Randomize
