we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
