i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
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Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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