My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
