I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
