The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Randomize
