I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
