Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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