Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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