you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
