it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
