He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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