im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
