HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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